If you would have told me 15 years ago, that I would be marrying a widow, a man who lost his wife tragically to complications from her leukemia at the young age of 39, I would have thought you were nuts. 
I had plans.  Plans to create my life, the way I wanted it.  I was in control, or so I thought.  So I sat, and I waited.  I waited on someone else to decide my life for me.  Until one day. 
Erika Rodriguez's funeral was on a snowy morning in Alexandria, Mn, about 140 miles north of Minneapolis.  It was cold and it was about a week before Christmas.  I knew her, not well.  But something about this woman and her story drew me in.  Today I could chalk it up as a divine experience, but I didn't know it then.  I sat at the funeral next to a man who I had spent 13 years of my life with.  A man who loved me "conditionally" and at times destroyed my spirit.  It was that day, and on that two hour drive, Dec 15 2012, that I realized I could no longer live my life the way I was living.  I needed more.  God had a plan and a purpose for my life and I realized that I needed to stop trying to control my plan and let go and "let God". 
It wasn't an easy process.  I had fear.  Oh how I let fear control me.  I didn't know how to live without this man.  What I know now is the person I thought I couldn't live without, was actually the one thing that was causing me not to live at all.  I don't blame him anymore.  I was a grown woman who was in control of my thoughts and emotions.  I just didn't know how to process all of them, especially feeling so completely helpless and out of control.
Fast forward a few years.  Because, yes, it took that long to really let go and let God be in charge of my life.  And the day I did, in May of 2015, my life forever changed.
I gave myself to God and I knew that my purpose in life was to step in any raise Erika's kids and marry her husband Sam.  They were waiting patiently for me and I have not regretted a day in my life since. 
What I realize is that God doesn't bring you anywhere, or give you anything in life, without giving you the necessary "instructions" on to handle it.  Whether that be through people, finances, prayer, church, daily peace, etc.  I remember thinking about how I was going to handle raising these boys with Sam.  I was an "auntie" to so many little people, but I really didn't know how to raise a little person.  And God knew.  He had and has a perfect plan.  He has placed amazing women in my life who have given advice and support as moms themselves.  He has placed the most supportive and loving man in my life who has been so patient and kind.  He has given me an opportunity to work less, while still providing us financially with everything we need.  We have found a Christian home "Living Word" where we find prayer and peace through God's word.  We have found an amazing neighborhood that anyone with kids would dream of living in, and great friends who live next door to us.  Our home is warm and filled with love.  For all of these things I am beyond grateful. 
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, "plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".  Jeremiah 29:11

I have decided to blog this journey because it is unique and divinely inspired.  I hope to grow and help others grow too.  So join me on this adventure. 
God bless

Katie