One week from tomorrow I get to marry my best friend and the love of my life. I thank God for him everyday. I thank God that he loves all my imperfections and that he accepts me for who I am. 

Today I found myself praying, thanking the Lord for this home that is filled with so much warmth and love.  For finding someone who makes me feel so safe and so loved.  I haven't been married before, I never had a home i called my own and never had children. I  thought I was going to be the "always a bridesmaid...never a bride girl". But as God and maybe a little luck would have it, Prince Charming was placed in my lap.   
He was broken, I was broken.  As as the song by Casting Crowns goes, "Broken Together" was how I described us when we first started talking.  And we were friends far before we were anything else.  Some days I call him my soul mate.  Ive never met someone who I "fit" with more than I "fit" with him. 

Because this love story has been built around tragedy I know that I won't be the only woman he thinks about on our wedding day. I'm fully aware that when Sam wakes up next Saturday he will be excited that he's marrying me, but his heart may also bear some heaviness. He will probably be thinking of this day below, too.  He might remember how she looked, words or kisses exchanged.  How truly happy he was.

How on that day 12 years ago, he thought he was going to grow old with her.  Have a family, get wrinkly and grey together. Maybe retire and travel the world.

 Never did he imagine having to bury her at the young age of 39.  

He actually might wake up feeling guilty for being happy and for finding love again.  And Im fully aware that if this happens my heart will be secure enough in the love he has for me, that I can carry him through it.  That God will carry him through.  

My prayer for this amazing, kind, generous and loyal man, is that he can find peace in our day and embrace it knowing a few really important things…….

That he loved her and that the promises he made on THEIR wedding day were upheld completely.  He loved her, cherished her, and "chose" her, "In sickness and health and until death due us part".  He honored her as a wife and the mother of his kids.  He put her first after God and he followed through with his word and his promises. 

He honored that……and It's part of the reason I fell in love with him. 

Last month Monty Williams, assistant head coach of the Oklahoma City Thunder NBA team spoke at his wife's funeral.  She was killed tragically in a head on collision by a distracted driver at the age of 44, leaving behind 4 or 5 kids.  His eulogy included speaking about how "things will always work out when God is involved".  How "Jesus heals hearts and God causes all things to work out", "no matter how tough things may seem or how much pain will be involved initially".  

Sam never thought he could love again, and I see his smile slowly coming back over time. By leaning on God, things eventually did work out.  He found his smile again. He fell in love again.  He didn't laugh much or joke much when I met him.  He laughs now, he jokes again.  I pray that he knows that Erika would've wanted him to smile again, and laugh again.  He deserves that and so do his kids.  

So next week I ask that you keep us both in your thoughts and prayers and we embark on this amazing journey of a new marriage and family.  I ask that God will bless us as husband and wife and as parents. That I will always be able to keep Erika's memory alive in this house and that the boys grow up knowing that they have two moms that loved them.  

Because through God, all things DO work out and WILL work out.  We just need to believe and trust.  

Happy Easter and God bless you all!

Katie